Space man

Space man.



I'm trapped far away, without even a tin can, far above the moon. For I am a spaceman, lost in the void of eternity, drifting on and on with nothing to hold onto.

They say that I let go, they say that I pushed it all away but I tell them it was never there in the first place, there never was anything to hold onto, just the dreams that creep in from the void in a cold, cold place. I'll never be able to reach either place for I drift atwixt worlds eternally falling through the cracks of life, neither one thing nor the other.

Some people say that my “condition” is called “asbergers” that I'm “autistic” but all I know is that I'm a spaceman, condemned to float through life, to watch what happens as both worlds go by yet never being able to reach either.

Sometimes I want to completely retreat to one world where there is no pain, no thought, no emotion. Sometimes I want to completely come into the other, the world of people, friends and love/ I was born of one and sent forth from the other yet now I'm a spaceman, trapped between two worlds, far from love, far from emotion, alone and disconnected. I dream with one world and I communicate with the other but I can't be in either. I try to signpost the way to both so that no one else need drift betwixt like me as I talk to the shining stars that shoot through on their path or get burned by the sun as it passes too close and I try to avoid the black holes that threaten to drag me in, swallow me whole, pulling me down and sucking all the light away.

Zooming through the void yet unable to move an inch I am a spaceman, trapped between worlds that call me with offers and dreams that I cannot reach, showing me their faces, the beauty and the beastly. I feel the happiness and the tears of both worlds but I don't understand them, I know there's a difference in the orgasm of life and the torture of death but I don't understand them. I am alien to both worlds, I am a spaceman, trapped between two worlds, not able to go to either. I am a spaceman without even a tin can, floating high above the moon, above the worlds to blue and there's nothing I can do.