Bleeding...
Usually words drip from me but now it is blood. There's a hole in my heart and I can't seal it up. I wish I could return to the black and stony thing I used to keep as a heart for the pain I hold is unbearable. I know my heart is still as black as the sin that stains it so, where once flowed forth words of peace and fun now drips only black ink to turn the day to night, to darken white paper.
I used to be a warrior, a knight shining forth, I'd kill a thousand men with a single sweep of my pen, raise paupers to be kings and charm dragons from their lairs. Now my armour is broken and covered with blood, I think it must be mine, th
Space man.
I'm trapped far away, without even a tin can, far above the moon. For I am a spaceman, lost in the void of eternity, drifting on and on with nothing to hold onto.
They say that I let go, they say that I pushed it all away but I tell them it was never there in the first place, there never was anything to hold onto, just the dreams that creep in from the void in a cold, cold place. I'll never be able to reach either place for I drift atwixt worlds eternally falling through the cracks of life, neither one thing nor the other.
Some people say that my “condition” is called “asbergers” that I'm “autistic&
Manifesto of a coward.
Yes, I am a coward, I am frightened by people. I am a lonely and pathetic excuse for a human. I have never lifted a fist to anyone and I don't have the presence to intimidate people. I am a;one because I am too scared to talk to people, too cowardly to ask for a friend.
I spend day after day hiding in a room with a box of wires as my only companion and a fist of pills to stop me from dying. When I cautiously venture out I do see many things I'd like to know about, to learn, to try, but I don't have the courage to ask, I don't have the voice to say anything I think. So I have to scuttle back to my little room and my bo
Bleeding...
Usually words drip from me but now it is blood. There's a hole in my heart and I can't seal it up. I wish I could return to the black and stony thing I used to keep as a heart for the pain I hold is unbearable. I know my heart is still as black as the sin that stains it so, where once flowed forth words of peace and fun now drips only black ink to turn the day to night, to darken white paper.
I used to be a warrior, a knight shining forth, I'd kill a thousand men with a single sweep of my pen, raise paupers to be kings and charm dragons from their lairs. Now my armour is broken and covered with blood, I think it must be mine, th
Space man.
I'm trapped far away, without even a tin can, far above the moon. For I am a spaceman, lost in the void of eternity, drifting on and on with nothing to hold onto.
They say that I let go, they say that I pushed it all away but I tell them it was never there in the first place, there never was anything to hold onto, just the dreams that creep in from the void in a cold, cold place. I'll never be able to reach either place for I drift atwixt worlds eternally falling through the cracks of life, neither one thing nor the other.
Some people say that my “condition” is called “asbergers” that I'm “autistic&
Manifesto of a coward.
Yes, I am a coward, I am frightened by people. I am a lonely and pathetic excuse for a human. I have never lifted a fist to anyone and I don't have the presence to intimidate people. I am a;one because I am too scared to talk to people, too cowardly to ask for a friend.
I spend day after day hiding in a room with a box of wires as my only companion and a fist of pills to stop me from dying. When I cautiously venture out I do see many things I'd like to know about, to learn, to try, but I don't have the courage to ask, I don't have the voice to say anything I think. So I have to scuttle back to my little room and my bo
Ok, so Having been busy, depressing and life stuff, I didn't get back quite as fast as I had hoped. which is wierd because I spend like 99% of my life on the computer, I just never seem to get around to comming here... guess its a symptom of not havi...
Well it has been a looooooong time! I can't remember when I logged in last and what I've told y'all but I've been super busy so I haven't had time to do anything much.
I have almost finished my first year of university which I'm quite proud of, I jus...
So I've been here but not really with it and commenting or anything recently as life at home still sucks and is getting worse. My mother is now not only being pissy with me because I have a girlfriend but she's also trying to tell me how I should act with her and everything for example she says I must never be alone with my girlfriend or get intimate with her until I have married her because she's going to turn on me and I'll end up in jail because she accused me of raping her. For a start my mum has never even spoken to my girlfriend, much less met her so how in the hell can she presume to know if that's what my girlfriend is like or no? Sec